Not going to supersize this!

In the continuing saga of the lung biopsy. I found out that Mayo in Arizona did not lose my biopsy and that they did indeed have it. I got a call after my last posting from staff that said Mayo did have my tissue and had sent a fax with results to the hospital here, and that SOMEONE lost or never received that fax :) . It's all good, it's okay, but boy was it a frustrating day last week when having to call myself around to try to get my results, when I called last week and with good customer service our people here should have called and followed up to find out why such a long delay in getting them. Regardless, it is done and over with and I SHOULD have results early next week. I am curious now, can't wait to see them. Still have a peace about things and I refuse to let that go. I like what our pastor says about something his wife is going through and I am going to claim that as my own too. They decided early on they were NOT going to "SUPERSIZE" her medical issue. I love that!!! I refuse to supersize mine. It is what it is and I am healthy and claiming that and going on with life! There was something I was going to tell you and now I can not remember... Oh well, I will remember it sooner or later. It wasn't on this but this is on my mind- do I have wisdom, I ask for it a lot- but do I have it and apply it? Psalm 49:3 My mouth will speak words of wisdom; the meditation of my heart will give you understanding. Psalm 49:2-4 This is one of many scriptures on wisdom. I am needing wisdom in many areas, wait,- all areas of my life. I especially want to make sure that I am giving godly advice out when called on or led. I do not want to go through life or find later I was not in accordance with the word of God. Pray for me if you will. I put these on here mainly for me, but thought maybe you could profit from them also. Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:6-8 Proverbs 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception. Proverbs 14:7-9 I got brave online and sent a msg to someone whose song inspires me and why, asked if they wanted to be a spokesperson for LAM- that's great- and I found my face was red as if I was embarrassed to meet someone face to face or shy or something. It was funny. Then I realized- wow I have no authorization to initiate that request.. Whoops.. so far no reply. I found it funny I was so brave all of the sudden. Hsving fun in this journey called life. Hug your neighbor or someone you cross paths with - too little human touch and a big hurting world.. Get out of your comfort zone and make a difference. Blessings.

Are you kidding me????

Oh my, what a day... I tell you the truth.. It has been 3 weeks now and still waiting on the final results.. They were sent out to Mayo in Arizona and guess what??????? True to form with this adventure-- they have never received them. I tell you- if I didn't follow up on anything seems like nothing would get done. It is hilarious, absolutely unbelievable. God has a sense of humor for sure, because one must laugh at it!!! Nothing new going on here, just looking for an answer. Still hoping for the best reports which would be nothing found! Woot Woot! Seasonal tree allergies are kicking in (we live close to a Tree City USA award city) so I am really suffering.. Zyrtec worked for about 1 week in early stages and now I am taking that and every 4 hours 2 sinus pills for sneezing/watery/itchy eyes, etc etc... Makes the work of breathing harder but nothing like some of my dear friends who have LAM worse. Pray for them please. Thanks.. Enjoy the beautiful longer days of Spring where things are made anew! Till another day-

I'm alive

Hello! I have missed writing and talking with/to you. I have debated what to type here and how often to post. I can't decide whether to keep this strictly related to the LAM issue or also talk about other subjects dear to my heart. I imagine it will be a mix of both. Hope you enjoy it regardless. Some things I find funny/ironic/strange, well one thing anyway. The look people give you when they see you. I suppose I do the same thing to others when I am in their shoes, but hadn't really thought about it until I am on the receiving end. I may have talked about this before, but it hit me today. People I see more often, just love on me, hug me and laugh and joke with me like always, but those I do not see that much, and who know what is going on healthwise with me, look at me and get an awkward look, a sad look. Sometimes a look like they wish they could change things for me but can't. Please understand I probably do the same thing, so I am not condemning them, it's just something I noticed, as when you get a new vehicle and suddenly "everyone" seems to be driving the same kind/color etc. It is just what happens. Your scope of life changes and suddenly you are more aware of certain things. A Dr. I know walked by me today, waved bye, then in the next second, she forlornly looked at me. I saw it and I do not know in that instant who felt the most sad for the other, she for me or me for her. :) I ached that she ached for me? Is that weird? It's okay, I fully understand, just not used to it. What I want to say is "Look at me like I am alive! I am! I want to live like I am alive!" I hadn't thought about my situation for a while until I saw her look. And really, it is okay. I know she cares, and probably prays for me, or at least thinks of me and wishes me the best. I am grateful; just talking out loud. I think what it is, -is this, when I look at myself in the mirror, I do not see someone with a disease, I just see me- (actually I see someone older than me- I often don't recognize that person ha ha). Then being the over-analyzer I am, I wonder if others feel this way too- or if it is just me. I have decided however to try to not give that sad look to others I know who are going through things, just to hug on them, love them and show them through words or otherwise how alive they really are! **On another note, I hate goodbyes. I am not good at them at all. I get very attached to people and don't do well when they leave, (meaning I am sad and want them to stay). I love people and want them to stay around. God though puts people in our path for a season and when it's time for me to go or them to go, it is hard. I do not suppose it will ever get easy. Too many people lately have been leaving, in one way or another lately. It is not fun. I wish them all the best. Until next time, be happy, healthy and safe.

Same ol'

I suppose one might be shocked I still have no answer yet. I am not. It's become just another day. I really do not think about things too much anymore. It's become old news to me and I just have too much I have to get done and not enough time. Not enough time for all the normal reasons not LAM or lung related issues. I feel too busy lately. I do not like it. For instance, remember that gal I asked you to pray for M.- Well, I came in to work and found a notice that she had passed away. It really took me by surprise and I was deeply saddened. She was the one who encouraged me and told me to stop being so strong all the time :) Amazing how someone can size you up in such a short time and leave a lasting effect on you too. I would really like to attend her funeral. I not only have to work back-to-back but in between have a child's function that I must be there to help with. I'd like to write the family a letter and let them know how much she did for me, as I am sure they have no clue. She also knew the Lord, so I know I will see her again and then I can tell her face to face how much an impact she had on me. Right arm is starting to heal! I went down for prayer 3 weeks in a row and I know quite a few people are lifting me up for healing! Thanks for praying for me. Until next time, have a fabulous sunny week.

Unanswered questions

Morning, I hope you are doing well. Spring is a bit delayed but the hope and anticipation of it rings loud within my heart. Loving the warm sunshine that appears in an ever increasing fashion lately. A touch of cold coming again but the end of the week already looks promising. Back to work, right arm still messed up. I can use it but my goodness, sometimes it gets so horribly painful, still like it is ripping/ripped from within. I can't get it comfortable a decent amount of time. Sometimes I just want to hold it tight against my body so it doesn't move or bounce, as if I could stabilize it somehow. Still praying God heals it and that nothing further is required to do with it. I do need it- it's my right arm and I am not ambidextrous. :) Still waiting to find out what the results are of the lung biopsy. They were being sent to Mayo in Arizona and I should know in approximately a week. We still do not know what it is. 1 of 2 diseases; is it a typo or do I have something instead of what we initially thought it was? I do have a peace about it though. I am going to keep it there, no need to pull it back over to worry and fear. I found I do not have time for that anymore. I find that funny too. I'll let you know soon what the diagnosis is. Stay safe.

The latest

Hello! I am recovering from a surgery I never want again. Worst thing is to have the chest tube inside you. Anyway, more on that later. Just wanted to touch base and say at first the diagnosis came back LAM. But then after looking the spelling I saw the spelled it Lymphangiomyomatosis, which is different from LAM- LymphangioLEIOmyomatosis. I called and confirmed this with the LAM foundation. They are indeed 2 different diseases. So which one do I have. They even sent it off to this Anna person in NY who reportedly known for her strong ability in pathology. They were also to send it to MAYO clinic, which I found out later they did not. It is now on it's way to MAYO to be tested. I would like to know what disease I really have, is this just a typo by someone who thought the words were interchangeable or do I have a different disease? Is this such a rare disease that even those skilled in medical area do not realize the difference or catch the spelling? So, we will wait another week. I hope to have results by then. My right arm is still messed up. It feels like it is ripped/ripping from the upper tricep ligament. I am able to use it more. So here we are. Spring is on it's way is it not? I love the sunshine, the birds, the sound of childrens' laughter outdoors! Enjoy it. Till next time.

Surgery

Hi, Been a while since I have been on here. Had surgery in January. Needless to say was everything I unfortunately feared and much of the reason I so strongly fought against it. Recovering now, think my right shoulder/upper arm has a pinched nerve now as the upper arm is still numb including the armpit. It feels as if a massive quantity of lidocaine was administered and someone forgot to turn the pump off! I would have thought if it were just an irritated nerve it would have subsided, but it is still numb. Very painful in the parts around the numb part as a mix of ice/heat are there when you touch it. I have limited movement which is getting frustrated. I wake up every night with throbbing and intense loud ache. I do also have surgery related pain in front right chest and my lower right rib. I also have 4 holes in my back/right side which are healing well and causing no problem other than some mild itching. As usual, I am impatient and ready to get out in the world and start living again. I do believe the Lord is trying to teach me to slow down and heal and take what he gives me one day at a time but it has proved a little harder than I imagined. Having a lot of fun with the children now that I am starting to feel better and able to help them with their schoolwork more. I am very proud of the way they have stepped up and helped me around the house with chores and added responsiblities now that I can not even lift more than 5 pounds. I see the Dr this coming Monday and will be interested to see what he has to say not only about my returning to work, but also about my right arm!, which was not like this before surgery! And also results. I am excited to see what the report of man is and I know fully report I will believe the report of the Lord. I can't wait to share what happens next in my life. I feel as if my life is not my own, and I am just watching it. Oh wait- MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN :) It is God's. I am however playing quite a part of it. Hoping I am learning and passing the tests that He is giving me. I hope you have been well. I pray you have as many beautiful friends and family as I have been blessed with. God sure is showing me that during this time of trial and adventure. I have probably never felt so loved. And you know recently I had asked him that, to show me (I must be from Missouri) just how much he loved me, that I would really know. And true to form, my gracious Lord, wow how he showed himself faithful. (brings tears to my eyes). *Well blessings to you, and hoping you are happy, healthy and safe. Remember to pray for those who may not be, as there are many in this world. Reach out to your neighbor and to someone who you struggle with as we remember how easy it is to be kind to someone we love, yet the difference lies in how we treat those who we struggle with. Much love