Another's perspective

Hello! I feel as if time has stood still lately. How about you? Everything going well? Here I am still waiting. Still wondering what to do, what the next step is. I have to fedx the CT disk to both Dr's and go from there. Still cycling through periods of, Yes, I should probably get the lung biopsy and then other times when I think I have made up my mind not to. Just now I am leaning I should, in case we are all wrong and it's curable. I've been doing my own research on the other differential diagnoses again. I really should stop. It's not healthy- ha ha no pun intended- but that made me laugh when I caught what I said. Today I was thinking what if I had a chance to look at my life from another's perspective. What would I tell myself? What would I see? Just trying to think what my life would look like to someone else was weird. I surmised I would tell myself to get off your duff, get the biopsy (in a nice way) and get on with your life. That I've been leaving too much life on the table and it's well past time to start living. Time is the ultimate intangible idea. It can not be physically grasped, but it is noticed and felt when it appears its coming is too long or its passing way too soon. Trying then to figure out how to make the most of the waiting game in which I am involved. As in most things, it is easier said then done. However, I did start doing SOMETHING! I got on the treadmill! Two times last week. It felt good although my back ached tremendously after, and I didn't even run- just fast walked. I keep telling myself it will feel better once I get in better shape :) Hoping for more energy too and being able to focus more clearly. Today breathing was hard, that air hunger kicked in. It was hard to get to sleep because of it. I don't like it when that happens. I wonder which part is real and which is psychological since I know what is going on now. My life lesson I am passing on today is this- When you know you need to apologize, even if for something little, go ahead and do it and quickly, lest it fester with the other one involved and grow bigger and cause greater problems.